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Back on the LJ [Oct. 21st, 2007|01:03 am]
[mood |crushedcrushed]

I will devote this to my daily ramblings now. Too many thoughts and too lazy/too poor to see a therapist.

I am so fucking confused about my ex right now. I know this is normal, but god damn... it is a double-edge sword. I know we're perfect for one another, but we are absolutely not perfect candidates for a relationship. Isn't that weird!? I don't want a relationship with him, unless he proves to me he can handle that responsibility and concern. It's not a complicated concept, but he is a typical guy and fucks it up. Did I mention he was one of my best friends? I was worried we wouldn't be the same bff's we were, but it's gradually going back to normal. We seem to have unspoken resentment toward each other. We bicker even as friends. It must bother him, but it doesn't bother me. I feel like it keeps us close. Like I said I do not want a relationship with him at this point, but god damnit.... I want him. Sex isn't that important to me. That's not what I want or need. I just need him. It makes no sense, but I guess I'm not ready to let him go.

He'll never openly say it, but I know he loves me.

And I still love him.